If you’re in need of a San Francisco marriage counselor you’re probably wondering how the process works, especially if you’ve never been to a therapist before. While it might be intimidating for some to divulge intimate details about their marriage to a stranger, we’ll take the time to get to know each other before we get into the nitty gritty. Counseling, marriage counseling or individual counseling, is a process. You wouldn’t just jump into the ocean before you had learned how to swim, you’d take some lessons, maybe start swimming in a pool until you feel more confident about your skills and then eventually feel strong enough to jump into the ocean.

Asking for help isn’t easy. It can be especially difficult to ask for help when your marriage feels like it is slipping away. I will listed to both partners and work to create a positive dialog so we can work to resolve the issues that are sinking the ship. We’ll work together to plug the holes or we’ll figure out a way to abandon ship without getting mired in the wreckage.

The first step is setting up the appointment. When you call we’ll chat over the phone to get a sense of each other and built a rapport. This is an opportunity for both of us to decide if we think we’ll be a good fit for one another. If you feel comfortable we’ll schedule an appointment at this time.

The therapy session is pretty laid back and straight forward. At the first visit we’ll take care of necessary paperwork for insurance and then I’ll ask you both to tell me about yourselves and what you think is the most pressing issue you’re having difficulty with in your marriage. The process is collaborative and it will often feel like a simple conversation. And where we start might be very different from where we end. Marriage counseling, couples counseling, is a journey that doesn’t usually go in a straight line. We may take twists and turns to get at the heart of your troubles but in that process you’ll learn so much about your partner and how you two relate.

Marriage counseling does not happen overnight. It is a process and it’s important that your expectations reflect that. Some issues can be resolved easily and in a short period of time while others will need a little more work to manage. We may find it necessary to meet weekly at first, but then taper off to every other week and eventually monthly. Of course we may also learn through this process that the marriage has reached a point where it cannot be saved at which point we’ll change the focus of marriage counseling to the separation process.

My specialty is relationships – marriage, divorce, romantic, friends, coworkers, family – whatever kind of relationship you’re having trouble with, I can help. If you’re interested in learning more about individual therapy or couples counseling in the San Francisco area please give me a call at (650) 400-3214.